El Tri Fantasy Football, Week 9 Power Rankings

Eric set a hindsight-perfect lineup, 100% efficiency, the best mark in the league in week 5, and lost by 26.06 anyway. That takes away his favorite excuse. No bench move existed. CeeDee Lamb gave him 1.9 points against a 15.46 projection, Alvin Kamara managed 1.6, and the leading scorer on a roster built around stars was Jacoby Brissett at 24.78. Rick has spent years telling us the scoreboard hates him, and the ledger says he has absorbed 549.08 points against, third-fewest in the league. The villain is closer to home: $60 of Christian McCaffrey has returned 81.8 points, the worst buy on his roster, while $55 of Jaxon Smith-Njigba has returned 120.96. Everything else screams contender. League-high 666.32 points, two weeks as the top scorer, an all-play rate of 69.1% that nobody else touches, and a 96.3% shot at the playoffs. He also carries two injured starters and takes three injury designations into week 6, because of course he does. The imaginary twin-brother competition with Brian remains undefeated; the real one against Vincent resumes this week, with Eric holding a 19-14 edge across 2011 through 2025. Beat the man whose entire season is bad luck and the complaining has to stop.

Mickle's second-highest scorer in week 5 was his kicker. Spencer Shrader put up 21.0 against an 8.83 projection and beat every skill player Mike started, with C.J. Stroud's 20.94 the lone exception. Zay Flowers 10.6, George Kittle 4.9, Tee Higgins 3.2, Jeremiyah Love 2.2 on a 13.06 projection, Steelers D/ST a clean 1.0. Luke beat him by 42.28 and it never felt that close. His lineup efficiency of 83.8% ranked 11th for the week, with J.K. Dobbins and 14.4 points watching from the bench. The new guy has made three transactions all season and spent zero FAAB, so the complaining about his players is doing all the roster management. Three injured starters, most in the league, and three more designations heading into week 6, plus a bye. He named the team Prime Sutton and his worst start/sit of the year was Courtland Sutton for 4.0 points in week 2 while Dalton Schultz sat on 20.0. The draft was fine: $35 of Chris Olave for 79.2 points, with $31 of Jeremiyah Love for 45.6 as the low mark, near par rather than a disaster. Week 6 brings his brother Drew and Omeed, who are 2-0 against him across 2025. Lose this one and Thanksgiving starts in October.

Mero split the G and then split Jason in half. The 166.58 he dropped in week 5 is the highest score any team has posted this season, and he got there with a perfect lineup: Jaylen Warren 33.8 on a 15.86 projection, Christian Watson 29.3, Jordan Love 25.28, Brock Bowers 19.0. Watson cost $11 at the auction and has produced 96.4 points, the kind of bargain that makes people who spent $50 on a running back stare at the wall. Three straight wins, recent form of 145.81 and roster strength of 146.89 both first in the league, and the softest schedule anybody has faced at 100.808, which explains the 504.04 points against, lowest of the twelve. He has also been the league's twitchiest team all year, with rank volatility of 3.2, the most movement of anyone, and this week it swung three spots in his favor. The blemish: $15 on Jadarian Price for 12.0 points on the season, including a week-3 start where Price gave him 0.7 while Luther Burden put 16.3 on the bench. Bryan is next, and Mero holds a 13-10 record against him across 2011 through 2025. The shoulder may be held together with tape, but the arm still works.

GO MAX owns the best record in the league and has never once been the week's top scorer. Jahmyr Gibbs went for 35.2 and Josh Allen for 30.5 in a 139.28 that squeaked past Bryan by 7.46, and behind those two the roster turned into a garage sale: DK Metcalf 3.8, Michael Wilson 5.28 on a 14.0 projection, Colston Loveland 2.9. Loveland cost $19 and has produced 17.5 points on the year, the softest spend on the roster. Allen at $27 for 142.46 points covers a lot of sins. The man who lives by go big or go home has the lowest week-to-week variance in the league at 11.36 and the highest floor at 111.18, which is the fantasy equivalent of ordering the same sandwich every day and calling it an adventure. His season lineup efficiency of 87.8% ranks 10th, and 85.9 points of hindsight-optimal lineup have gone uncaptured, most of that from week 4, when he started Chris Bell for 0.0 points while Kyle Monangai scored 27.5 on the bench. A 27.5-point gap. For a guy with zero injured starters, that is a decision, not an accident. Luke comes next, and Max is 4-7 against him across 2018 through 2025.

Danny drafted a Patriot, started a Patriot, and the Patriot threw for 39.46 points, 20.99 over projection. Drake Maye carried a 126.26 past Jacob by 30.02 and the name on the team remains the most honest thing in this league. In week 4 he started Parker Washington for 1.5 points while Romeo Doubs scored 20.8 on the bench, so in week 5 he started Doubs for 2.1 while Washington went for 27.4 in the lineup. The wheel keeps spinning and the ball keeps landing on the pocket he vacated. The rest of the week: Chase Brown 5.5 against a 15.31 projection, Rams D/ST at negative one point. He still posted 100% lineup efficiency, which tells you the bench was worse. At the auction he spent $50 on Kenneth Walker III for 104.1 points and $50 on Omarion Hampton for 47.1, and $146 of his original draft spend is still on the roster, the second-lowest figure in the league. Five transactions, 10th-fewest, so the trade offers he keeps firing into the group chat continue to go unanswered for good reason. Week 6 is Andrew, who leads him 13-11 across 2011 through 2025. Daniel will spend the week offering him a bad deal and limping on a knee he refuses to rehab.

The commissioner started the Raiders defense for negative six points while the Seahawks defense scored 11.0 on his bench, lost by 7.46, and has not yet run a poll asking the league whether that was a mistake. That 17-point swing is the worst start/sit call of his season, and it sits next to Jayden Daniels and his 32.26 points watching Matthew Stafford score 27.32 in the lineup. Ding went 22.3 from James Cook, 19.9 from Garrett Wilson, 19.6 from a $15 Davante Adams who has produced 81.6 points, and still found a way to lose. The schedule is the cruelest in the league: 687.88 points against, the most of anyone, from the toughest slate at 137.576. He has played two one-score games, more than any other team, and his two wins came by a combined 3.08 points, dead last in the league for margin of victory. Sixteen transactions and $51 of FAAB spent trying to fix a team that keeps scoring enough and losing anyway. Mero and the league's hottest roster arrive in week 6, with Mero holding a 13-10 edge across 2011 through 2025. Bryan will discuss a trade about it for nine days and then not make one.

Dozo started DJ Moore, who was projected for 0.0 points and delivered 0.0 points, the one player in this league to hit his number on the nose. Everything else about this team is held together with the same confidence he brings to an all-in shove. He is 4-1 with the second seed and an all-play rate of 47.3%, eighth in the league, giving him a luck delta of plus 0.33, the largest cushion anyone has. His 126.94 in week 5 beat Eric by 26.06 and was his highest score of the year, which ranks 11th among team highs. Jason Myers, a kicker, was his second-best starter at 23.0, behind Jared Goff's 28.94. The $55 on Derrick Henry has returned 107.8 points and looks great; the $34 on Travis Etienne for 25.4 does not. He drafts the same archetypes every year and this year the draft has produced 443.0 points from players still rostered, 11th in the league, while his waiver pickups have delivered 337.12, the most of anyone. The team is a bullpen with a quarterback. Daniel is next, and Andrew holds a 13-11 record against him across 2011 through 2025. Keep betting on the record. Somebody is going to push him and find out.

Vinny lost by 0.40 points. Four hundredths of a decimal from being 2-3, in the closest game this league has played all year, to the Snakes, who are three of his four declared rivals away from being his favorite people. His four losses have come by a combined 14.04 points, the smallest total in the league, and he still averages 117.94, seventh overall. Hand him Andrew's schedule and he is 5-0 across those five games rather than 1-4. The unluckiest team in El Tri by a margin that is not close. Isaiah Likely put up 26.9 in the week his team name finally made sense, Puka Nacua added 29.2 and Joe Burrow 24.6, and then the bottom of the roster showed up: Cowboys D/ST at negative two, Harrison Mevis 2.0, Deebo Samuel 1.5. The no-depth tendency has become a documented condition. He paid $66 for Bijan Robinson, who has 112.2 points, and $34 for Rashee Rice, who has 31.5, and he is sitting on $43 of drafted money on the current bench while making 18 transactions, the most in the league, trying to patch the bottom half of a starting ten. Eric is next, holding 19-14 across 2011 through 2025. Bring the Arnold Palmer. You will need something to cry into.

Fifteen years in and nobody knows what the team name means, but the roster is self-explanatory: Luke has drafted better than anyone and managed it worse than anyone. His drafted players have produced 696.16 points, first in the league. His season lineup efficiency is 82.9%, last in the league, and 111.82 points of hindsight-perfect lineup have slipped through his hands, also last. He blew the auction budget early as always, has made three transactions since, spent zero FAAB, and $197 of his original spend is still rostered, which is less roster management than a Tamagotchi requires. Week 5 went his way for once: 134.52 and a 42.28 beatdown of Mike, powered by a $13 Bucky Irving going for 30.5, George Pickens 23.5 and the Broncos defense 14.0. Bo Nix repaid his 16.19 projection with 7.92 and Carnell Tate gave him 1.1. In week 3 he started David Montgomery for 5.8 while Drake London scored 23.9 on his bench, an 18.1-point gap that cost him a game. Right now $33 of drafted money sits on that bench. Max is next, and Luke holds a 7-4 record against him across 2018 through 2025. Pick the door with the lineup behind it.

JHo set a perfect lineup, 100% efficiency, and lost by 58.34. There is no worse combination available in fantasy football. Every call he made was right and Mero still made him look like a cone on a Mario Kart track. Trevor Lawrence 21.74, Sam LaPorta 17.3, Ka'imi Fairbairn 17.0 from the kicker spot, Ja'Marr Chase 16.7, and RJ Harvey rounding it out with 0.7 points on a 9.24 projection. The auction remains the wound: $40 on A.J. Brown has returned 4.1 points, the worst money on his roster, and Kyler Murray put up 18.26 from the bench in a week where the lineup was already optimal. He is carrying $54 of drafted money on his current bench, the most in the league, and has spent $58 of FAAB trying to climb out, which has produced 533.56 points for, 10th overall. Week 6 brings Jacob and the league's worst team, which should be the softest landing on his schedule, except Jason is 3-8 against him across 2017 through 2025. Losing to Sell The Team would be the kind of result that goes on the Mario Kart website as a permanent exhibit.

Drew wins a game by 0.40 points and Omeed spends the rest of the week explaining the strategy behind it. The division of labor remains intact: Drew sets the lineup, works the trade market and absorbs the losses in silence, Omeed arrives in the chat the second the margin is positive. Note the games they do not mention. In week 4 Eric beat them by 75.66, the largest blowout in the league this season. They have been the lowest scorer in a week twice, more than anybody, and sit on 520.82 points for, 11th. The auction has aged poorly: $53 on Justin Jefferson for 54.2 points is their worst buy, while $39 on Ashton Jeanty for 73.6 is the best. In week 4 they started Cam Skattebo for 7.1 while Brian Robinson scored 25.2 on the bench, so in week 5 they started Robinson for 1.6. The lesson arrived one week late, as usual. Thirty-six dollars of drafted money sits on their bench today. The defending sackos of 2025 have 4.55% playoff odds and a 5.38% chance of repeating. Week 6 brings Mike, Drew's brother, who they have beaten twice across 2025. One Durlofsky ends this week furious and the other one gets to be insufferable.

Jacob started the Jaguars defense for 4.0 points while the 49ers defense put up 20.0 on his bench, which is the worst start/sit call of his season and also a tidy summary of the whole operation. That decision helped produce 78.4% lineup efficiency in week 5, worst in the league for the week against the hindsight-perfect version of his roster, and a 96.24 that Daniel beat by 30.02. Kenyon Sadiq contributed negative 0.7 from the tight end spot. Malik Nabers went for 23.6 against an 11.17 projection and Aaron Jones added 17.2, so there is a pulse somewhere under the rubble. Everything else is the bottom of a column: 459.74 points for, a 91.95 average, a 64.64 in week 3 that nobody in this league has gone below, and roster strength of 102.72, last of the twelve. He has spent all $100 of his FAAB, the only manager to drain the account, and the pickups have returned 169.1 points for it. His odds of finishing twelfth sit at 85.74% and his playoff odds at 0.04%, which is a rounding error wearing a jersey. Week 6 brings Jason, and Jacob owns an 8-3 record against him across 2017 through 2025, the one number on this page that works in his favor. Win that and Jacob gets to feel good for seven whole days.